


you get a moment when you feel alright

by magnetichearts



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - The Good Place (TV) Fusion, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Banter, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Light Smut, Pining, Smut, anyways uhhhhh, highkey an iconic couple, i'm just gonna preface this with, or - Freeform, y'all know how iconic they are, y'all know what i'm about to say in regards to the length, yeah guys this is basically a chidi/eleanor fusion, zero word count control™️
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnetichearts/pseuds/magnetichearts
Summary: “What?”Devi gaped at her father—wait, no, not her father—the immortal being who took on the image of her dead father to comfort her.Except it was having the exact opposite effect right now, hearing those words coming out of Mohan’s mouth, in Mohan’s voice.He sighed. “I didn’t tell you everything about your afterlife life,” he repeated. “In one of the reboots, you and Ben fell in love. Deeply in love, and you know, you told him and he told you and it was all very nice and romantic and everything. Like you humans do.”Her head was spinning, so she said the only possible thing she could.“What the fuck?”God, she was so happy she could swear now.or; ben and devi, in “the worst possible use of free will”(title from “i think there’s something you should know” by the 1975)
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	you get a moment when you feel alright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flashlightinacave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashlightinacave/gifts).



> hey guys! if any of you are wondering how i got this written so quickly after my previous fic, it's been written for the past 3 weeks, just waiting in my drafts for the very special occasion that i wrote it for!
> 
> if any of you guys really know me, you know leila. leila has been my number one cheerleader, and my number one friend, ever since i entered this fandom. leila, you are one of the smartest, loveliest, most amazing people i know. your sheer talent and kindness shines out in everything you do, whether it's making gifsets or texting me about the newest science banter you're going to be inserting into your writing. i'm beyond lucky to call you my friend, beyond lucky to be able to talk to you and see your brilliant mind in action. you're a sweetheart for always helping me out on my fics, and, as a small, small token of appreciation, i wrote this for you. no words can truly express how much i love you, but i'm hoping this will be a start. i hope you have the happiest of birthdays! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
> 
> yes, this is a tgp/nhie fusion, because leila and i love the good place and cheleanor, and i needed it in my life. i hope you guys like it, because it brought me a lot of joy to write. i tried to merge the shows together as seamlessly as possible, and i'm not _exactly_ sure how well i did that, but i hope it still works. 
> 
> ok guys, enjoy!

_ “What?” _

Devi gaped at her father—wait, no, not her father—the immortal being who took on the image of her dead father to comfort her. 

Except it was having the exact opposite effect right now, hearing those words coming out of Mohan’s mouth, in Mohan’s voice. 

He sighed. “I didn’t tell you everything about your afterlife life,” he repeated. “In one of the reboots, you and Ben fell in love. Deeply in love, and you know, you told him and he told you and it was all very nice and romantic and everything. Like you humans do.” 

Her head was spinning, so she said the only possible thing she could. 

“What the  _ fuck?” _

God, she was so happy she could swear now. 

Devi rubbed her head with her hands, trying to process what the _fuck_ was currently going on. 

Dear lord, even the swearing was getting to her. Back in—the Good/Bad Place, you couldn’t even _think_ in swears, and now, frankly, the language was a bit shocking to her system. 

Oh well. What was time, in the face of existential nothingness anyways?

Mohan sat across from her, face carefully composed. Every time she looked at him, she was—taken aback, to say the least, and it was a shock to her system. Seeing the face of her father, her dead father, smiling and laughing—well, that was weird. 

Especially when said dead father was actually a demon sent to torture you for all eternity. So yeah. A little weird.

“Look,” she said. “You need to show me these—these memories you said I have of the reboots. Come on, fire up Rebecca’s Hermione wand of memories, or whatever.” 

Mohan sighed. “Firing your brain with all these memories, it’s not good for your systems, Devi. Plus,” he asked, wrinkling his nose, “why are we in a public library in Davis?” 

“It’s a public library in _Davis,”_ she said. “No one’s going to be here.” God, why didn’t he get it? Ben did. 

Speaking of Ben. 

“Just show me the memories!” 

“It’s simple, Devi,” Mohan said. “In one of the reboots, you and Ben fell in love. Why can’t you accept that and leave it at that?” 

“Because I need to know! I don’t care _what_ the fuck this is going to do to my brain. After I lost you—my dad—I didn’t think I could get close to anyone ever again! I need to know. I have to see for myself if I _actually_ fell in love.” 

Mohan rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. “I can’t believe this,” he groaned. “This was supposed to be a ground-breaking experiment of torture, and now I’m sitting in a public library in Davis, about to do this.” 

She leaned back in her chair. “Are we?” 

“Yeah, we are,” he relented. 

She smirked. “Good.” 

“Before we left the neighborhood,” he explained, digging into his bag, “Rebecca saved all of the reboots, thankfully.” He pulled out a cheeseburger and set it down, and Devi wrinkled her nose.

“What’s the cheeseburger for?” 

“You humans have such pathetically tiny little brains that rebooting afterlife memories on Earth is not the safest thing—you know, like getting into a fight at a Taco Bell or messing with the wifi router in the middle of a thunderstorm. This is just a little preparation. We’re gonna start off with an easy, three second memory.” 

Devi wanted to push and ask for longer, but before she could, Mohan pressed the blinker. 

* * *

“Hey,” Ben laughed, gently shoving her to the side, “you’re not very good at Mario Kart either.” 

“Better than you,” she said back, smiling. 

“Say that again to my face, David.” 

“Rematch?” 

“You know it.” 

* * *

“So,” Mohan sighed, sitting back down. “I see you had the cheeseburger.” 

Devi nodded. “Ok, dude, can you please stop beating around the bush? Like, please! Show me what the hell happened between me and Ben!” 

“Ben and I,” Mohan corrected. “God, once you humans started forgetting about grammar, that’s when civilization really went downhill. That, or when the _Cats_ movie came out.” He shuddered. “Even us demons couldn’t come up with anything that horrible.” 

Devi smacked her hands on the table. “Come on, Mohan! Show me the memories!” 

He raises his hands in surrender. “Ok, ok.” 

Devi sighed in relief. “So,” Mohan continued. “Reboot 119. I’ll be bypassing all the snoring and the eating. You guys do _way_ too much of that. Like, honestly, I don’t get why you have so many different spaces dedicated to just eating. You humans have got to get better priorities.” 

She closed her eyes, and everything flashed white.

* * *

“You know,” Ben said, sitting down next to her, “you’ve come quite a long way since we started.” 

Devi rolled her eyes, biting her lip to hold back a smile. “How many times do I have to tell you, Gross? I _was_ valedictorian. I might have been an asshole, but I was a smart asshole.” 

He shrugged. “No, I know. I just never thought ethics would be your thing.” 

“Oh, it’s not,” she snorts. “I’ve just got the hots for Aristotle, and I’m hoping when we get into the Good Place, I can convince him to have an affair with me.” 

Ben stared at her. 

Devi shook her head. “It was a joke, professor. I don’t _actually_ want to sleep with Aristotle. He’s like, old.” 

“Didn’t you tell me like, three days ago that you would bang Helen Mirren?” 

“Who wouldn’t?” 

Ben snorted. “Ok, fair point.” He handed her a sheet of paper. “Well, it’s time for us to move from free will, to determinism. Say goodbye to Nietzsche.” 

Devi pouted, looking down at the book in her hands. “I’m gonna miss Nietzsche. He just kept reassuring me I was better than everyone else. Which, you know, I already knew, but it was nice to read it.” She leaned forward and tossed the book on the stack, grabbing the paper out of Ben’s hands and scanning it quickly. 

“Tommy Quinester, nice,” she smirked, shooting a wink at Ben. “Thomas Aquinas just sounds so boring when you look at it, huh? Thought he could use a little nickname.” 

Ben laughed. “What is it with you and nicknames?” 

“Oh, shut up. You call me a nickname, you literally have _no_ leg to stand on,” she said, swatting him with the paper. “Ok, who else? Descartes, hmm, interesting. Oooh, my man, Aristotle, _noice.”_

“I can’t believe you found someone to hit on in philosophy cl—” 

He broke off suddenly, and, almost unconsciously, Devi pulled a tissue from the holder next to her and handed it to him to sneeze into. God, he was so bad at taking care of his allergies. Everything else, Ben was almost obsessively on top of, but allergies were his blindspot. 

“I told you, you should ask Mohan to get rid of all of the dust,” she commented easily. “This _is_ the Good Place. Why does it even have dust?” 

He didn’t respond, and when she looked over at him, he was just staring at her, something in his eyes she couldn’t read. 

Devi laughed. “What are you looking at, you weirdo?” 

The corners of his eyes crinkled up as he smiled, that broad, bright, beautiful smile of his that she loved, although she would _never_ tell anyone that. “Nothing.” 

She resisted the urge to reach out and trace his smile with her fingertips, decidedly ignoring how her stomach fluttered when her gaze drifted down to his mouth, and looked away, jerking her head in the direction of the door. “You nerd. Eleanor and Fabiola are gonna be waiting for us at the fro-yo place, come on.” 

* * *

Mohan pressed the blinker and Devi was staring at his face again. 

“So, what?” she said, crossing her arms. “I don’t get it. Where’s the love? I’m not seeing it.” 

Mohan groaned. “You humans have no patience at all. Even like, your yogis. You all need a tree to sit under, but you won’t ever wait for one to grow. It’s just like, a few hundred years. Not even that long.” 

Devi scowled at him. “You said Ben and I fell in love. So far, I’m not seeing anything that proves you’re right. Or that I’m capable of it.” 

He waved his hand at her. “Put those back in.” 

* * *

“Hello!” Mohan greeted them, clapping his hands. “My four favorite humans!” 

He leaned in, dropping his voice conspiratorially. “Don’t tell anyone else I said that, though.” 

Devi smiled at him, while the rest of her friends were looking around at the hundreds of pets that were scattered around the main courtyard. “Welcome to pick a pet day! We have _hundreds_ of pets for you to choose from. Find your animal companion here, and they will bond with your soul, forever.” 

“Um, Mohan,” Fabiola piped up. “Would there be any chance for me to have a robot as a pet?” 

Mohan’s mouth dropped open and he glanced at Rebecca, who shrugged. “Uh, I don’t—I don’t see why not. This _is_ the Good Place. You can have anything you want!” 

“Oh!” Eleanor jumped, clapping her hands. “This is lovely! I haven’t had a pet since Queen Elizabeth II gave me one of her corgis and it mated with a random mutt that somehow slipped through our ivory and diamond fence.” Her mouth dipped down into a frown. “Such a good breeding line, tragically ruined.” 

Eleanor placed a hand on Fabiola’s arm. “Come on, Fab. Let’s go look at the mythical pets.” 

Mohan held his arm out. “May I?” 

Eleanor’s mouth dropped open in delight. “A true gentleman. Thank you!” 

Devi watched Eleanor flounce off, Fabiola and Rebecca trailing after her, and shoved her hands in her pockets, biting back a smirk and turning to Ben. “Come on. Let’s go find you an animal that shares your ridiculous eating habits.” 

“Having an organic smoothie every morning is not a _ridiculous eating habit,_ David,” he deadpanned. 

“It does if it has _kale_ in it!” 

“What is it with you and kale?” 

“Come on, Ben. Haven’t you ever watched _Masterchef?_ Kale is like, super tough and super disgusting. Bobby Flay said so.” 

He rolled his eyes. _“Masterchef_ isn’t even a good cooking show. You have to watch like, _Chopped_ or something.” 

“You’re so pretentious. Who else ranks cooking shows?”

Ben shrugged, glancing down at her. “Wait, what the fork?” he jerked back in shock. “Where the heck did you get that?” 

Devi looked down at the lizard that was crawling up her arm. “I don’t know.” She pursed her lips. “Is this like, a _Harry Potter_ kind of deal? Does the animal choose me, or something?” 

Ben smirked. “That lizard seems to like you a lot. Makes sense. You do have a face that would attract lizards.” 

She kicked him in the shin. “Shut the fork up.” Devi nodded to the basket over there. “Come on, let’s find you something furry.” 

Ben walked over to the adorable kittens curled up, one peacefully licking its paw, and the other sitting and blinking up at him with huge eyes.

“Oh, they’re so cute!” he said, crouching down. He slipped his hands in and picked one up, and it nuzzled at him with its little pink nose.

Devi felt her heart twist her chest at the sight of the tiny little kitten curled up in Ben’s hands. God, she never really noticed how huge his hands were until now, with the both of them cupped together, the kitten fit in them _perfectly._ Her fingers itched to slip her own hand into his, so she moved to hold her lizard in her hands to stave it off. She let her eyes roam over him, trying not to laugh at how he dwarfed the animals. Next to them, he looked _giant._

“This one,” he said, motioning to the one in his hands, “looks just like the kitten I had as a kid. Atticus.” 

Devi burst out laughing. “You named your kitten after a lawyer?” 

Ben glared at her. “I’m a reader.” 

“Hmm, I know you are.” 

Ben sighed, looking back at the kittens. “But—what if this kitten _isn’t_ like Atticus? I don’t think I could handle the disappointment, looking at him and knowing he would never be like Atticus.” 

“So choose the other one,” she said, tilting her head at the other kitten, a tawny one.

Ben sighed, letting the black and white kitten slip back into the basket. “That’s true. He _is_ very cute.” 

Oh, no. They were about to get stuck in a period of Ben’s famous indecision. 

Just great.

“Settle in, lizard,” Devi said fondly. “We’re gonna be here a while.” 

Twenty minutes later, Devi was about to _strangle_ Ben, and she could tell her lizard was feeling the same way. 

“Should I take the cutest kitten?” he asked, pacing back and forth. “Because, you know, cuteness is subjective, and on a sliding scale. I’m sure if I took a poll the responses would be divided on which kitten is the cutest. Or should I take the quieter one, so that I could enjoy it more easily? I’m not exactly the most lively person ever, and I don’t want a kitten that’s going to claw everything to shreds.” 

Devi was seriously ready to punch someone. Should you ever feel violent in the Good Place

“God, and what if they’re brother and sister? Or worse, _married?”_

Devi groaned, swiveling around to face him. “Dude, they’re _heaven_ kittens. Like, not even regular kittens, _heaven_ kittens. I’m pretty sure these kittens are better than whatever pet Beyonce could get. Just choose one.” 

Ben nodded, clenching his jaw. “You’re right. The black and white one. He was the first one I saw, and he looks like Atticus. I’ll get him.” 

She sighed in relief. “Finally.” 

Except, ten seconds later, she was ready to strangle _Rebecca_ when she announced that the kittens were both gone. 

“I’m sorry, Ben,” Rebecca said. “They’ve both been chosen.” 

Ben ran his hand over his face. “Of course they have. Once again, my inability to be decisive when the moment calls for it has cost me a chance at eternal happiness. In blissful heaven. Ok, fine. What other pets are left?” 

Rebecca smiled in that serene, composed way that Devi hated. “Well, first, we have a 16 foot boa constrictor.” 

Ben’s eyes widened fearfully, and he shook his head. “No.” 

“Hmm. Ok, then we also have something called a crocodile shark. Oh, and, of course, a hawk.” 

She gestured to the majestic hawk sitting on the branch, spreading its wings. 

“Come on,” Devi said, poking Ben in the arm. “Crocodile shark, crocodile shark, crocodile shark!” 

Ben stared incredulously at her. “Rebecca, I’ll take the hawk.” 

Devi tried not to pout in disappointment when Ben reached out and stroked the hawk with his fingers, and clutched her lizard just a little closer to her chest.

* * *

“You like your little princess tiara, don’t you,” she crooned, scratching the underside of her lizard’s jaw gently. “Awww, yes you do.” 

“Ben,” she called, as she walked into their place. “Look! Rebecca made my lizard a little tiara!” 

She placed the lizard on the perch before glancing at Ben, her eyes widening in horror as she saw him crouching underneath the island. 

“Shh!” he hissed. “Athos doesn’t like loud noises.” 

Devi crept closer to him, keeping an eye on the hawk that apparently had minor murderous tendencies, if the blood on Ben’s arm and shirt were any indication. “What the fork happened?” 

“I was trying to—to teach Athos to bat at the ball on the string, like I did with Atticus as a kid, and instead he decided he would rather turn me into grinder meat,” Ben winced, coming out from underneath the island. A piece of gauze was loosely wrapped around his arm, dangling in the air.

“Why don’t you just ask Mohan for a kitten?” Devi ran a hand through her hair, slightly irritated, and worried. 

Ben wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Because it’s my fault for not being decisive enough. I didn’t pick a kitten fast enough. I’ve buttered my toast and—now I’ll bleed in it, I guess,” he groaned, trying to wrap the gauze around his arm. 

Devi rolled her eyes. “Come here,” she said exasperatedly. “I’ll do it.” 

Ben dropped his hand from the bandages and let her unwrap it from around his arm. 

Devi grabbed the disinfectant and dabbed it gently over the wound, trying not to feel bad as he winced. “Look. What if I talked to Mohan for you? Then, you don’t have to worry about seeming ungrateful or indecisive, and he might give you a kitten anyways? Instead of, you know, scars.” She tightened the bandage around his arm and grabbed the medical tape on the table.

“You would do that?” 

She scoffed, ripping off a piece of the tape and securely attaching it to the gauze. “Of course. I mean, after everything you’ve done for me—it’s the least I can do.” 

“Thank you.” 

She looked at him and he smiled at her, his eyes lightning up.

Her heart burst into overdrive then, looking into his blue, blue eyes. God, even in this heavenly afterlife, Devi still hadn’t found a single thing that was the exact same shade of blue as his eyes. They were uniquely, wholly him, shards of the sky immortalized in his irises. She loved his eyes. 

“You’re welcome,” she said, and shoved down the flutters in her stomach. 

* * *

Devi blinked suddenly, Mohan appearing in front of her and removing the earbuds. “Wh—what the hell, man!” she said, trying to grab them back. 

Mohan shrugged. “I mean, what else is there to it? You liked him, he liked you, you took care of each other. Sometimes you guys cuddled. The loss of your father at a young age did not make you unable to feel love. Bing bang boom, done.” 

“Bing bang boom, done?” Devi repeated. She narrowed her eyes at him. Something was off, here. Why did he keep pulling her out of the reboot? Why wasn’t he letting her stay in it, to get the full picture? 

There was something strange about watching yourself fall in love, and even more than that, feeling yourself fall in love, despite having no memories of the situation. The worst part was definitely the emotions, because on some deep, fundamental level, she felt this connection with Ben, this impossible, deep, lasting bond with him, and she didn’t know why. 

Well, now, she did, but still. There was something missing. Why did she love him? Sure, he’d been a friend, and he was occasionally ridiculously hot, with his blue eyes and beautiful smile, but—she wasn’t so shallow that she recognized that was the _only_ reason people fell in love with each other. Why, out of all the people, was it Ben? 

Devi shook her head, as if to dislodge those thoughts from her mind, and tried to focus back on Mohan. “What aren’t you letting me see? What happened in that reboot?”

“Nothing interesting!” Mohan tried. “Seriously!” 

“Right,” Devi scoffed. “Nothing interesting. Just—watching myself fall in love for the first time in fake heaven. I should change the channel, right, watch some YouTube promposals?” 

She grabbed the earbuds out of his hand, seething, and her famous temper came to the forefront. “I am going to finish watching this reboot, or, I swear, I will rip whatever you demons have that passes as a tongue out and shove it down your throat. Play. It.” 

* * *

“Devi!” Eleanor greeted her. 

As usual, she was dressed to perfection, not a single strand of her wavy bob out of place. Devi ran a hand through her own frizzy mess of a hairdo, trying not to feel like an utter troll next to her. 

“Ugh, the lizard was a _perfect_ choice for you,” Eleanor said. “You both have the same nail care routine!” 

Devi smiled tightly. “Uh, thanks, El. Um, this is going to sound like a weird question, but can I swim with your mermaid?” 

Eleanor’s happy smile dropped into a tense look. “I’m afraid Eleanoria is very particular about who she’ll swim with. I tried to fill her tank with mineral water once, and she nearly slapped me.” 

Devi winced. “Oh, I’m sorry about that.” 

Eleanor nodded seriously. “Yes. Turns out mermaids are a bit tricky.” 

“You didn’t learn to swim on private beaches or something? Shouldn’t you know how to properly swim with fish?” 

“Oh, yes, I did, but it looks like the mermaid I got is a little further on the more siren side of the scale. You know, the ones that drown sailors and sing them to their doom?” 

“That’s forking scary, man.” 

“Hello, guys!” Mohan said suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. “Devi,” he said, smiling at her. “I heard you were looking for me?” 

“Right, yeah,” she said, trying to ignore the way her lizard was currently scaling her head. “So, um, Ben’s got a hawk? That might lowkey hold the reincarnated soul of like, a murderer, or something, no biggie, but um—do you think there’s any way he can just pick a kitten? Like he wanted to, originally?” 

“Oh, of course! This is the Good Place!” Mohan stops suddenly, tapping his finger against his chin. “Though, you know, he might want to hold off on switching. Tonight, we’re having a party where everyone can transform into their animals. You know, as a little treat! Ben can fly like a hawk and you can—do whatever a lizard does, I guess.” 

Devi nodded. Great. So she could poop randomly and scale weird buildings. Fun. 

“Eleanor,” Mohan said, turning to her. “Would you mind hosting, at your country house?” 

Eleanor clasped her hands together, smiling softly. “Of course not, Mohan. I’d be happy to entertain all of our guests! I’m sure Fabiola would agree!” 

“Wonderful. I’ll see you all tonight,” Mohan smiled. 

* * *

“Fork,” Devi swore, or, tried to, anyways. 

She hurried into the room, brushing back her hair. “Guys,” she hissed. “I can’t find my lizard.” 

Ben was standing there, dressed impeccably, suit neatly pressed. The black blazer he had on made him look sophisticated, almost cosmopolitan, and she wanted to press her cheek against the white dress shirt he was wearing to see if it was as soft as she thought it would be. She tried to ignore how it sent heat flooding into her cheeks or how she liked the way the cut of his blazer emphasized the sweep of his shoulders, focusing instead on her missing reptile. 

“It’s no big deal,” he shrugged. “Can’t Rebecca just find it?” 

She shook her head. “No, that won’t work!” she hissed. “I can’t risk Mohan finding out! I have to find him myself.” 

“Ok,” Ben said, stepping forward. “Do you need any help?” 

Devi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she ducked down to check the couch cushions. “No, that’ll be even more suspicious. These pets are supposed to like, bond with our souls, or whatever, and if he finds out I lost my lizard, he could find out that I’m not the real Devi. You guys go without me.”

Ben frowned. “David, are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it'll be fine. Tell them we’re doing some weird lizard-human face mask deal, or something. You know, like those fads. Circle of life crap. Way for us to bond.” 

Ben still didn’t look very convinced, so she stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm. Even through the suit jacket, she could feel how warm he was, and resisted the urge to bury her face in his chest. “Go, Ben. Have fun flying, or whatever. I’ll be fine.” 

Fabiola nodded. “Come on, Gears Brosnan,” she said, to the robot that only came up to her knee. “Let’s go!” 

Ben shot her a worried look, but she just shooed him away, watching him leave before sprinting out the door herself.

* * *

Devi rubbed her eyes and sighed, dragging herself back into her kitchen. God, finding a lizard in the infinite space of heaven was _hard,_ and she was exhausted. 

She was so exhausted, in fact, she didn’t hear Ben come up to her. 

“Hey,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

Devi freaked, turning around and socking him in the stomach, knocking him to the ground. He fell onto his knees, completely winded. 

“Oh,” he groaned, clutching his stomach. “That hurt.” 

Devi gasped and dropped to her knees, wanting to touch him but scared he wouldn’t want her to. “Oh, god, Ben, I didn’t know it was you. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” he groans, lugging himself back up. He gingerly touched his side. “You punch _hard.”_

Devi smirked. “Self-defense classes.” 

She saw him wince, and the smirk dropped from her face. “Are you ok? Like, really ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok. Got abs of steel,” he smirked. 

She slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “You’re ridiculous,” she laughed. “I’m sorry I hit you. I didn’t know you were there. I’ve just—been a little nervous lately.” 

He shrugged. “It’s fine. Mohan and Rebecca are busy at the party transforming people. They didn’t even notice you were gone.” 

Devi’s mind whirred as she put the pieces together, and stared at Ben. “Fork, you’re supposed to be at the party right now.” 

He smiled wryly. “Yeah, well, I knew it wasn’t going to be much fun without you, so I just, waited. You know, for you to come back.” 

She laughed in shock. “Instead of _flying like a hawk?_ You—you stayed?” 

Ben just smiled shyly at her. “Yeah. Well, I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” 

Devi stared at him, as things finally started to click in place. _Ben._

God, if there was one person in the world she knew deserved to be in the Good Place, it was him. He’d stayed. He’d waited. He’d helped her when he’d had no reason to, putting himself at risk. 

She couldn't have stopped herself if she tried, wouldn’t have wanted to, anyways, and so she leaned in and kissed him. 

Kissing him was—god, it was everything. His lips were soft against hers, warm, and she felt herself falling, falling into an oblivion and peace she _still_ hadn’t found despite being in literal heaven. There was nothing quite like being here with him, his body pressed against hers. 

Devi pulled away a moment later, scared she’d ruined everything, but Ben was just staring at her, wonderment in his eyes. 

“What?” she whispered, eyes tracing his face. 

He laughed, shaking his head. “Nothing,” he murmured, threading his fingers into her hair and tilting her head back slightly. “Nothing all all.” 

He kissed her then, brushing his mouth over hers gently once, twice, before she broke, curling her fingers into the lapel of that suit jacket and tugging him closer. He kissed her greedily, like he couldn’t get enough of her, wanted to make the most of every moment, his hips pressing her into the counter, and god, she wanted more, but she also wanted to stay here and kiss him for the rest of eternity. 

Ben swept his tongue into her mouth and she barely bit back a moan, his hand sweeping down the curve of her back, spreading fire in its wake. Devi arched into his touch, wanting his hands _everywhere._

She reached up and cupped his jaw, thumb brushing over the curve of his cheek, as he pulled her closer, and she knew, right there, that they would never be close enough for her. 

* * *

“Ben!” Devi flew into the house, hands shaking. “Ben. where are you?” 

Fork, she needed to talk to him, needed to hear his voice and feel him. God, what if—what if something had happened to him? 

He came out of the bedroom, brows furrowing. “Devi, are you ok?” When he saw the look on her face he rushed over, pulling her into him. “Devi, what’s—what’s going on?” 

“Mohan,” she gasped. “Mo—Mohan lied.” 

“Devi, breathe. What are you talking about?” 

“Here,” she said, gesturing around her. “It’s—it’s the Bad Place.” 

Ben jerked away from her in shock. “What?” 

She stepped forward, curling her hands around his. “Ben, please, you have to believe me. Think about it. You’re always being forced to decide something. Why—why would heaven make you do something you never liked to do? Why would I always be so worried about being discovered? Or that Fabiola would be kicked out? People fight and shout all the time here. Eleanor’s always being judged! This doesn’t make any sense.” 

Ben’s hands shook. “So you’re—you’re saying we’re in the Bad Place. And that Mohan’s known the whole time.” 

“The kittens, Ben,” she stressed. “He made you choose. Why? He could have just given you one, but he made you _choose._ This is the Bad Place, I know it.” 

His eyes darted over her face, and she didn’t—there was no way she could do this without him. She needed him to believe her, needed him by her side to walk her through this. She curled her hand around his waist, pulling him into her and reached up, running her hand through his hair. “Ben, please. Believe me.” 

His eyes softened, blue meeting brown, and he leaned down, touching his forehead to hers. “I believe you, Devi.” 

She melted into him in complete relief, already feeling safer in his arms. “Thank god.” 

“We have to get out of here, Devi,” he said quietly. “We can’t stay.” 

Devi nodded. “I know.” 

“Where can we even hide? I’ve never exactly read of people trying to escape heaven.”

“I know a place.” 

He slipped his hand into hers. “Ok then. Let’s go.” 

* * *

Devi sighed, leaning against the door to the spare bedroom of Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s house, in the Medium Place. Everything was in disgusting tones of beige and floral, but she was safe here, away from the watchful eyes of Mohan. 

She had left Eleanor and Fabiola back there, and she had _no_ idea what she was going to do, but she was safe, for now, and Ben was with her.

He dropped their bags on the floor and slumped into the chair. “Well,” he said, after a moment of silence. “I have to admit, I didn’t think I was _that_ horrible a person in life. At least, not so much to end up in the Bad Place.” He ran a hand over his face, sighing. “Guess you really can’t predict the future.” 

Devi stared at him, eyes tracing the slant of his shoulders, the curve of his mouth, and suddenly, she needed him, in a way she’d never needed someone before. 

She walked over to him and wrapped her hand around his wrist, pulling him up. He stumbled to his feet. “Devi, what—what are you doing?” 

She looked at him, and gently caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. “Kiss me.” 

Ben’s eyes darkened, and he dragged his own hand down the curve of her arm, curling around her waist and pulling her to him. Even as he tugged her closer, his mouth landed on hers, hot, and hard, needy in a way their kisses hadn't been until now. 

And she felt the same way, because it was only a matter of time until they needed to be back and sort everything out, but they had here, and now. 

She walked backward, tugging him by his shirt with her, until the backs of her knees hit the bed. They fell onto it rather ungracefully, knocking heads, and she pulled away from him to groan in pain. “Ow,” she said, 

Ben laughed, hands already sliding underneath her shirt to pull it off. “Hope you didn’t kill too many neurons when you hit your head. Those are brain cells, by the way, David,” he smirked. “Special name for them.” 

Devi rolled her eyes, undoing the buttons on his own shirt. “Talk dirty to me,” she quipped. 

Ben smirked, leaning down and biting the skin over her collarbone. She arched into him, gasping. “What do you want me to say?” 

She struggled to keep her eyes from rolling back into her head as he sucked a mark into the curve of her throat, running her hands up and down his back. “Um—whatever you want,” she breathed. 

“You sad it’s not Aristotle here?” Ben dragged his fingers down her stomach lightly, undoing the button on her jeans and pulling them off. He pressed a kiss to her thigh and she nearly combusted right there.

Devi flicked open the clasp of her bra and tossed it off the bed, gasping when Ben’s hand swept over the curve of her breast. “N—no,” she said, trying to keep her head on straight. “Always had more of a thing for Thomas Aquinas.” 

He shucked off his pants and settled into the cradle of her thighs, pressing kisses along every single inch of skin. “So you don’t have a thing for me?” 

Devi’s head nearly slammed back into the pillow as he slipped two fingers into her, strong and certain. “May—maybe,” she gasped. 

“Maybe? Come on, David, I wasn’t expecting poetry, but you gotta give me something here.” 

Devi groaned, digging her fingers into his biceps as he continued to slide in and out of her, to work her to the edge. “You give me this first.” 

Ben smiled. “Fair enough.” He twisted his fingers and pressed against her center, leaning down to drop kisses over her shoulders as he worked his fingers in and out. She felt the pressure build up and gasped, trying to keep her eyes open as she dug her fingers into the bed, body bowing into him. 

“Oh, fuck,” she groaned, needing more. “Come on, Ben. Don’t tease me.” 

He frowned. “You’re not even going to let me have any fun?” he complained, but thankfully, he listened to her, and flicked his thumb over her clit rapidly, then she was falling apart around him, riding out the waves of her orgasm in his arms. 

After she came down from her high, she looked at him, panting. “Ok,” Devi agreed. “I _think_ I have a thing for you.” 

“Finally. I just wanted to hear you say it.” 

And then he was moving into her and everything fell into place. She buried her face into his neck and bit down, wrapping her legs around his back tightly. His hands, so perfect, kept trailing over every inch of her skin, running through her hair and down the curve of her leg. “Oh,” she gasped, fingers tightening on his shoulders as he pushed into her. 

“Devi,” he whispered, into her skin. “God, you feel good.” 

“Ben,” she cried softly. “Ben, I need—need you to move faster, please.” 

He groaned into her neck, but did as she said. “Come on, Devi.” 

How could this feel so good? How could he feel so good, body slotting into her perfectly? Ben was everywhere, a hand digging into her hip, holding onto her so tight it hurt her, his mouth, streaking kisses along every inch of skin, in her, setting her aflame from the inside out. She carded her fingers through his hair and tried to remember everything about his moment, her body completely intertwined with his. 

He drove into her deep, and her eyes fluttered shut. There was nothing else but him right now, nothing but his body moving on top of hers. He was her world, her Good Place. 

Devi scored her nails down his back as he picked up his speed, pushing her to the edge. “Ben, Ben, I—I’m close.” 

“You’re almost there,” he muttered. “Almost.” 

Then, he hitched her leg higher up his side and drove into her at a new angle, deeper, a little rougher, and she shattered around him, trusting him to pick up her pieces and put her back together. 

Her orgasm crashed into her, powerful, knocking her back with its force. Her nails carved trails down his back and she tried to hold onto him to focus. She breathed, vision blurring, and squeezed her eyes shut. Every inch of her skin was hypersensitive, and she barely bit back a cry when she felt Ben’s fingers tighten on her waist as he broke above her. He bit her neck, and she swore she could feel every atom on his lips against her skin, every part of him against her. 

He was tattooed on her skin in such a deep way that she could never scrub him off, and she didn’t want to. 

When they both came down from their high, he rolled off of her, staring up at the ceiling. She reached out and curled her hand around his, panting as she looked at the ceiling as well. They lay there for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath. “Well,” he smirked. “That was…” 

“Good,” Devi said. She smirked, looking over at him. “But you know, I think we can do better.” 

Ben raised an eyebrow, raising himself up on his elbows to look down at her. “Practice does make perfect.” 

She couldn’t even get a smile out before he kissed her. 

* * *

Devi dragged her fingers across his collarbone, back and forth, the motion almost hypnotic.

She couldn’t see him, but he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, thumb sweeping at the curve of her back. 

It was easy, this quiet stillness with him, tucked into his side like she had always belonged there, legs tangled together underneath the sheets. There was no awkwardness like there had been with the other people she’d slept with, none of the weird tension that had radiated as soon as they’d finished _actually_ having sex. 

For the first time in her life, Devi didn’t want to run away, wanted to trace every inch of his skin with her fingertips and lose herself in the way he kissed her, wanted to stay with him. 

It was weird, wanting eternity with someone after you were dead. But, she did. She had a feeling that even eternity wouldn’t be enough time with Ben, that she could wrap her hands around his waist and kiss him for all of time, and it still wouldn’t be enough, still wouldn’t satisfy her.

Maybe having enough time with him was all she needed, all the Good Place that she had ever wanted. 

Devi lifted her head off of his shoulder and looked at him. 

“Ben?” she said softly. 

He hummed, opening his eyes. 

She forgot what she was going to say for a second, captivated by the swirling blue of his eyes. They were striking, and she reached a hand out to run her thumb under his eyes, gently smoothing it out back and forth. 

She could lose herself in his eyes for the rest of eternity, swimming in their ocean blue, both bright and dark fracturing coming together in an burst of color. She could lose herself in _him,_ with an ease that, for once, didn’t scare her. 

“Devi?” he said gently. 

“I love you.” 

She realized what she said a moment after she said it, but she wasn’t going to take it back. His eyes widened and she ducked her head, hair brushing against his chest. “I—I love you, and you know, you don’t have to say it back or anything, but I just wanted you to know. I love you, Ben.”

She was speaking more into his skin than him, but then she felt his fingers against the place where her jaw met her neck, and he gently tilted her head up. “I love you too, Devi.” 

And she knew then that this couldn’t be the Medium Place, because hearing those words was the best thing in her life, and she had to be in the Good Place to hear them. 

Devi smiled, and buried her face in Ben’s neck, as his hand swept down her back and pulled her to him.

* * *

Devi’s hands shook as she pulled the earbuds out, staring at Mohan.

God, she _felt_ it, in her gut, like an anvil, like a hot coal. She felt how she loved him, and this was—confusing, because she didn’t think she loved him _now._ Did she? 

But—what other explanation was there for her heartbeat racing, the way she craved his smile like one craved the sun on a cloudy day? What other way was there to justify it? 

Devi didn’t know love, hadn’t known it since she was a child, but being around Ben gave her an indescribable feeling, a contentment washed in passion that she had never felt around anyone else in her life. How was she supposed to know if she loved him? Especially now, on Earth? 

Devi swallowed dryly, looking down at the table. “So, there you go,” Mohan said. “That’s the story of how you and Ben fell for each other.” 

“You’re capable of human love,” he said, and she felt her lips turn up in a smile involuntarily before she realized something. 

“How did it end?”

Mohan groaned. “What?” 

“I want to know how it ended,” she snapped. “Show me how.” 

“It ended like it always did. I rebooted you and you forgot everything. You don’t—you don’t need to see it again.” 

She couldn’t—she couldn’t take that answer. Because this was real proof that she had fallen for someone, had told someone she loved them. Not just someone, but _Ben._ Ben, who had helped her when she’d flown halfway around the world to try and become a better person. Ben, who had been there for her, every step of the way. Ben, who, even in the afterlife, was always there for her, who was her flashlight. 

She had come to _him_ for a reason, and part of her wanted to ignore everything Mohan was showing her, scoffing at the fact that somehow, they had found their way to each other—but she couldn’t ignore what was right in front of her. 

If she had no memory of the reboots, why had she still been able to find Ben?

This was too much. She didn’t—she didn’t know how she felt about Ben here, in the real world, but there, in the Bad Place, she had been certain of him, of them, in a way she had never been certain of anything before. 

And she needed to see how things fell apart. 

“Show me,” she snapped, and, without waiting for an answer, slipped the earbuds back in. 

* * *

“Listen, guys,” Mohan sighed. 

“No, you listen,” Ben said, his hand tightening around hers. “We—we figured out this whole charade you having going on here.” 

Mohan’s face brightened. “Oh, charades, that’s a great torture idea.” He jotted it down on a notepad and pushed it aside. “Thanks, Ben.” 

“Look, the jig is up.” Devi leaned forward in her seat. “We know this is like, the hundredth time you’ve tried to torture us, and we keep figuring it out, but this time, it’s different.” She glanced at Ben, and, emboldened by the feeling of his hand in hers and his eyes, breathed out and turned back to Mohan. “Because we’re in love, and love is stronger than anything you can throw at us.” 

Mohan leaned back in his chair and laughed. “Devi, come on. Don’t be naive. Love isn’t stronger than anything I can throw at you. What if I threw the moon at you? Come on, love wouldn’t save you. You know that.” 

Devi scowled at him. “I hate that you look like my dad. He would have never said anything like that.” 

“You—you know that she was speaking metaphorically, right? About the whole love thing?” Ben asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Mohan huffed, fixing his jacket. “Even metaphorically, it’s lame. You humans and your Big Macs and ridiculous metaphors. Seriously, open a thesaurus once in a while. Stop using metaphors to describe everything.” 

“Ben.” Devi said, turning to him. She ignored Mohan, ignored everything but Ben and his blue, blue eyes looking at her. 

“It’s going to be ok.” 

Ben stretched a hand out and cupped her jaw, looking at her with so much love and affection she felt she was going to die. 

“It’s going to be ok, because we’re soulmates. We will find each other, again, and every time. No matter how many times he tries to reboot us.” Her grips tightens on his hand. “I promise.” 

“I will find you,” he said. Conviction shone in his eyes, a conviction she hoped she matched. “No matter what, I swear, I will find you.”

Devi leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his. “I love you.” 

“I love you. I’ll remember you.” 

Mohan scoffed. “You guys. You still think you’re going to get a happy ending. That’s just not the case.” 

It was hard, when she knew what was coming. She tightened her grip on Ben’s hand as Mohan turned to face them.

Before Devi could beg for just one more moment, with Ben’s hand in hers, to sear the color of his eyes into her brain, to touch his hair and to kiss him, to hear his voice, Mohan snapped his fingers, and everything flashed white. 

* * *

_“Devi? I’m Ben. Ben Gross. I’m your soulmate.”_

**Author's Note:**

> make sure to follow [leila!](https://montygreen.tumblr.com) your comments and kudos make me happier than fabiola and gears brosnan talking! come talk to me about the show! you can find me on tumblr: @[parkersedith](https://parkersedith.tumblr.com)


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